As many of you have noticed, the extremely helpful and never manipulative Department of Homeland Security has started a campaign to help us prepare for and fight against those evil terrorists.

Apparently some people are making up their own captions to the illustrations. After a few chuckles I thought to myself: we can definitely do better.

So here's my first entry and I encourage all of you to take a whirl:

Terrorists are ass-loving midgets. If you notice a midget is admiring your ass immediately assume the fetal position, cover your eyes and cry like an infant until the proper authorities arrive.