Okay, i am going to do this preemptively, so you don't all get mad. Yes, i Know how annoying all those "you know you're a child of the 80's if..." lists are. But i got this one from a friend of mine at school who is from Kenmore, and i thought it was funny. so look at it and laugh.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM BUFFALO WHEN....
You've ever bragged about your driving time to Toronto.
You save Canadian coins ... to use at toll booths and parking meters.
You watched Canadian television,just so you could see US shows a day or two earlier than they would appear in the States.
You make fun of Amherst ...but say you're from there to impress women.
You go "hshhhhhh" whenever a story about a fireor the Bills appears on the news.
You can make the coins land perfectly in the toll basket at 20 MPH or higher.
You've never been to New York City.
You live on a street that...
changes names at every block
has a very "ethnic" sounding name
isn't plowed until spring
is bumpier than a jeep trail in the high Rockies
You don't really think there's anything wrong with Pat Gambino Ford commercials.
You've ever gotten a speeding ticket on the Youngmann Expressway ("Da' Tooninney") ... but still drive insanely fast on it.
You watch reruns of the Paul McGuire Show on the Empire Sports Network ... in May.
Your personal ad in the Buffalo News mentions ethnic preferences ... Polish, Italian or Irish.
One of your friends claims to have known Ani DiFranco or a Goo Goo Doll from high school.
You can identify what neighborhood you're in through smell alone.
You think a 150,000 square foot supermarket is small.
You think "Lesbos" is a new family restaurant on Transit Road.
You know the lyrics to:
"You Know We're Gonna' Win That Cup"
The Bills "Shout" song
Any song by Rush
"Talkin' Proud"
The Crystal Beach "pay one price" jingle
The Tops "Tops never stops saving you more" jingle
The Sattlers "998 Broadway" jingle, even if you weren't alive when they were still open
You watch the Bills on TV with the sound turned down, and the radio turned to the game.
You've been around Buffalo a long time if you've ever called...
The Bon-Ton"AM&A's"
Kaufman's "Hengerer's"
Quality Markets "Bells"
Buffalo State College "State Teach
Daemen College "Rosary Hill College"
Jubilee "Super Duper"
You use "the" before the numbers of expressways, like "The 290"(Da'Tooniney"), "The 90", "The 400" etc.
You've held a "waveathon" at four way stop intersections (no,you go...")
When someone speaks of a "family restaurant", you think of names like "The Olympus,", "The Acropolis", "The Agean," and "Your Host", not Denny's or Perkins.
You can tell what part of town someone is from because of their accent. Especially dat der Chickatavaga town der, an de freggin'Wesside.
You've ever feasted on these treats:
real chicken wings(not "Buffalo wings")
real beef on weck(and you call it beef on wick)
charcoal broiled hotdogs
Niagara street clams
pierogies
Weber's mustard
Texas hots
St Joseph's day bread
Twice baked double cheese potatoes and washed it down with Genessee
Cream Ale
loganberry juice
Vernor's
OV
Visniak or Black Rock pop
You slam on the brakes or slow to a crawl whenever you see the "Village of Kenmore" sign. (That is a good one!)
You still flinch when you hear the words "wide right"(remember Scott Norwood-in the Superbowl?)
You use your garage as the living room in the summer, putting a big screen over where the overhead door would be.
You still go to the neighborhood and ethnic festivals, even though they're really all the same.
You feel lucky if you only have to wait 100 numbers at Redlinski's Meat market at the Broadway Market on Holy Thursday so you can buy your ham and sausage for Easter. You fight for a spot at the counter next to Redlinski's to buy your pierogies and the butter lamb for your Easter basket to be blessed at church on Holy Saturday.
You've nearly gotten into fights over topics like...
-Malecki vs Sahlen vs Wardynski vs Shelly vs Redlinski(weiners)
-Anchor bar vs Duff's(chicken wings)
-Bocce club vs Leonardi's vs LaNova(pizza)
-Tops vs Wegmans(supermarkets)
- the fastest way to drive to Washington, DC
You go to Niagara Falls for the outlet shopping and the Italian food, not the scenery.
You spend hours planning drives to avoid all toll booths.
Your snowblower has more horsepower than your car...and you use it about as often. (How true!!)
You've ever sarcastically said "Fun? Wow!"
You have more than one shovel in your garage. You have a shovel in each of your cars all year long. Your car has more rust than exposed paint.
While living out of town, you've said to your friends...
back home,this house would go for only 80K
back home you could get a large cheese and pepperoni for seven bucks
back home the bars close at 4:00AM!!!!!
you call this snow?
you call this cold?
you call this a supermarket?
you call these wings?
you call this pizza?
no, I didn't forget to wash my face- haven't you ever heard of Ash
Wednesday?"
Yu know "uppers" and "lowers" aren't drugs.
You take real chicken wings,pizza, beef on"wick" and hot dogs back with you after a visit home to Buffalo.
You don't let a blinding snowstorm stop you form driving 70MPH down the Thruway during rush hour.
You don't put away the winter clothes.
You've fallen asleep waiting for the light to change at the intersection of Niagara Falls Boulevard and Sheridan Drive.
You think the idea of "California pizza" is as sacrilegious as cheering on the Miami Dolphins.
Comments, Anyone?
satanica beliot said on 02/02/02 at 03:01 PM,
what the whole "fun, wow?" thing.
and where the fuck are the putt-putt references throughout all of this allegedly quintessntial buffalo breakdown.
and what are "uppers" and "downers"--highways? by ways? drugs with swapped meanings??
.......................Albany Dan said on 02/02/02 at 03:01 PM,
I used to live in Buffalo.
.......................presley said on 02/02/02 at 03:01 PM,
i think uppers and lowers might refer to the Aud...but i may be wrong.
dude, i JUST read this and i TOTALLY but "the" in front of everything! god, i'm such a fuckin' buffalonian. god.
.......................Ned said on 02/02/02 at 03:01 PM,
this entry has generated all kinds of referrers from peopls searching for 'beef on weck' and 'buffalo wings'. go sara!
.......................Bill Baker said on 02/02/02 at 03:01 PM,
Hi, you guys might be interested to know that I'm in the middle of a massive effort to compile a REAL Buffalonian web site with jingles from Bells, Sattlers, AM&As, Twin Fair/Gold Circle, and many, many, many more. Plus a huge collection of photos, old TV/Radio broadcasts, and just about everything covering the entire Buffalo area from about 1955 till about 1988. Talking Proud, the whole deal............
I'll keep you informed of the url and the date I open the site, ok. :)
.......................Any Trackbacks?